I am feeling great, because we had / are having a wonderful weekend with an old friend who is briefly visiting from Austria. Good times – talking, eating, playing computer games and, yes, drinking margaritas till the wee hours of Satu…, ahem, Sunday. But nothing a long sleep in couldn’t cure.
I am feeling bad, because I did not do anything photography related, creative. This is the only time of the week I really do have time to create something, but… you have got to prioritize. And for this one weekend our friend was definitely more important than my being creative.
1) I am afraid of the dark. Ever since my big brother played pranks on me, in the dark, it kind of stuck. Maybe that is also a reason I do not like horror films. Or too bloody stuff like The Walking Dead, sorry, I only made it through season 1 and by the end of it I was so grossed out by all the blood and gore, that we did not continue watching. A co-worker keeps telling me that the story gets better etc. etc., but then also very vividly describes some bloody scenes – nope, not for me.
2) I am the youngest one of four siblings, and my youngest sister is nine years older than I am. Which is why they claim that I grew up almost like an only child and was spoilt rotten. I guess most of that is pretty true. As, unlike them, I went to high school and college and could have continued with university, but chose not to. Yet, I never felt really spoilt. Our family never had a lot of money, au contraire, but we had us. Now we are living an ocean apart and things are not quite the same anymore. But all is good. We chose where we are now.
3) I really, really wished I could step up my game and make my photography into a business i.e. ‘money making’. Yes, there is always the fear that you might start to hate it when you have to make a living of it, but by now I am confident to say that won’t be the case for me. I know how much I am dreading those days when I did not get to take photos. Or edit photos. Or compose a picture. Something is missing, badly. Yet, I do love my day job, too. The daily communications, organization and logistics – it is fun. And part of any business. I am probably not making too much sense right now. Blame it on the red wine.
4) I play computer games. Yep, I do. Not Facebook games (don’t even bother sending me an invite!), not many and not often, because – you know, time… But when I am too brain dead to edit photos or write or comment on blogs or I don’t cook or clean or what ever other chores there may be, I chose to play computer games. With David. And that is – almost – the best part of playing them.
5) You know that I love the ocean. But, I also fear the ocean. It is beautiful, magnificent, life, full of power and mystery. It is a little bit like my being afraid of the dark. I don’t know what is in the dark depths of the ocean. So, many creatures well adept to their surroundings. Currents and waves, so powerful, able to sweep you away. I am always humbled and amazed at seeing the ocean’s wave power, gnawing away at the land, hollowing stone, making a path. What can stand in its way? Certainly not me.
So, do I think I am brave? Looking at #1 and #5 certainly not by the standard definition of the word ‘brave’ i.e. ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. But I still hope that if push came to shove, I would stand my ground. Until then my answer will have to be, I really don’t know, most likely braver than some and more afraid than others.
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