Worrying about…

Two weeks have already gone by and it is time for another round of our Sisterhood Stories. I don’t quite understand how it happened, but I really don’t know where these two weeks vanished to. I guess it is because I have been a little pre-occupied with… well, I guess worrying. First I received the oh so wonderful news that even after four weeks of antibiotics morning and evening, including during our vacation on Bonaire, lyme disease is still present in my body. While right now I am still lucky and no big signs of it are showing (anymore), except for a bit of tiredness, that could and will most likely change when the disease is progressing. I am worrying, but still hoping to prevent that. The next appointment this time with an ID (infectious disease) specialist was available next week, until then – waiting and worrying.

Then, last week I went for my mammogram. It was actually my first one and I have to say: Don’t believe everything you hear or read on the internet. I perceived it a lot less uncomfortable than I had expected. There is so much talk about how it is hurting, but the truth is, we are all different and we all experience, feel pain differently. To me it was merely uncomfortable and really, it only lasted a few seconds anyhow. No big deal, especially if it saves your girls or even your life. But what follows the actual mammography, I can deal with a lot less relaxed. Waiting. Three to five days and then your doc(s) will get the results. And after that you will. Or so is the plan. Because in my case I got a call from the hospital on Monday already. ‘Ohh, Ms. Willison, the doctor would like you to come back to do an additional ultrasound. There is something in your right breast they need to check out’.

What?! Immediately the big ‘worry-machinery’ that we all carry in us kicked in. Working overtime. What if – I had gone a year earlier? What  if – this is of the bad kind? What if – I am going to loose …? Or even worse? What. If…. Waiting and worrying.

I am sure I am not alone in playing the ‘what-if-game’ to excess. I am really afraid of cancer. And I absolutely, seriously admire all the women and men who have and/or are fighting it. You are so very strong. You all have my utmost respect.

To cut this post short and not to bore you, I was lucky. I did not have to wait long for an appointment, but got to go back to the hospital yesterday. Where they actually also re-did the mammogram. And – as a photographer – I immediately saw the one, maybe two little spots that caused the doctors to request me to come back. After a short wait the ultrasound was also done and then I had to wait again. The technician was showing the results to the doctor on duty. And apparently they were of the opinion that the spots are nothing to worry about right now. But they need to be watched. Meaning I will have to go for a follow up in six months to see if anything changed. But for now, I am good.

After too much of ‘what-if’ and worrying, I felt like quite a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I just wanted to enjoy the fresh, spring like weather and to take photos. But nature does still not look very photogenic around here. Still I went for a little walk in Morristown, grabbed a Hazelnut Macchiato at Starbucks and then sat in the park. Listening to nature, the traffic and watching people walking by, some birds and the ever curious (or hungry?) squirrels. Honestly, I would have preferred the beach and the ocean, but you take what you can get, right?! It feels good to be alive.

All photos below were all taken yesterday and edited with my iPhone only.

And now on to the round in our Sisterhood Stories circles, please check out Kay Maguire Photography post today.

 

p.s. I may have seemed a little pre-occupied to some people who know me a little better, which is why I chose to write about these pretty personal issues here in this post. Generally I am a pretty positive person, but it sure does good to talk about things at times. Therefore I honestly thank you for being here, reading, listening and checking out my latest photos!

 

Why not get every new post by me into your inbox without delay? You can by subscribing (click) here. Or you can follow me on ,  and if you prefer.

Drop me a comment and you’ll make me smile!